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3 Tips To Drop Your Negative Self-Image

Be aware of how you speak to yourself, because you are listening: Guest Blog By: Nele VanCauteren


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by Kim Coates in Guest Blog, Self-Help
December 6, 2017 0 comments

What is your self-image really about?

Thoughts of our self-image make us feel either happy or bad about ourselves. Often, they circle around in our head while we add non-stop commentary. In reality, thoughts pass through the mind and don’t need to mean anything about ‘who we are.’ A thought just comes and goes. For a fact, we need to give attention to a thought in order to make it stick in our head.

I was caught up, for more than 20 years, in the belief that I was not “good enough.” This was my predominant thought of my self-image. Once I could recognize that the thought itself, “I am not good enough,” was my own created thought and ultimately not true; this “not good enough” lost it’s grip on me.

It is clear that we all have amazing minds. We have the capacity to imagine whatever we want. Yet, we get caught up in believing poor me, self-doubt, and self-punishing thoughts. With the ability to think the best of ourselves, we often choose to only believe the worst.

Picture This:

As a newborn baby, you arrived here without a self-image – a baby’s mind is a complete blank canvas. While growing up, we start to believe certain concepts about ourselves (some hold truth but many are lies) and we create our self-image picture accordingly. Next, we try to adjust our picture to match what others expect us to be – creating more unnecessary distress.

Wouldn’t it be great to learn to only pay attention to what is true and kind, and let all other thoughts pass by?

The good news is that you can learn to stop being burdened by what you think and feel, and come to know how to be in charge of your thoughts through investigating what you think, feel, and believe.

Through self-investigating, you will dissolve the impact of your self-image by learning to:

  • see reality
  • own your thoughts
  • know that you have a choice in what you think and feel
  • know that you are not your thoughts
  • be kind, caring, and gentle with yourself instead of judging, comparing, or blaming

Once you realize that you are the action, the script, the writer, the audience, the stage, and the play itself of your life, thoughts, feelings, and self-image – you will start to enjoy the play and be more playful.

How not to be shaken by your thoughts and self-image:

Learn the basics of self-investigation:

1. Question your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs

We all do it: repeating the same thoughts each day. “I am good, I feel bad, this is wrong, why is it raining again? I wish I had done this differently…” Lots of these thoughts don’t resemble any truth; they are more like a broken record that keeps replaying as we have become accustomed to hearing them.

Learn to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Is this thought kind?
  • Is this thought true?
  • Is this thought important?

Can you see that your self-image is made up of thoughts?


2. Own your self-image. It is YOURS and YOURS ONLY!

It is important to come to realize your self-image is totally in your hands. Each past hurt, phobia, or fear just lives like a thought in your head – haunting you there. Whatever happened in the past, it is gone. 

“I needed to own and let go of my addiction to sadness and poor me stories and prioritize my longing for fulfillment, freedom, and truth”

At some point, the most important questions you need to ask and answer is:

  • What do I really want?
  • Have I had enough suffering?
  • Am I willing to let go of blame, judgments, guilt, and shame?

3. Be your own best friend – Learn the art of self-love

Imagine this: Someone else talks to you in the same way you talk to yourself saying stuff like: “You’re a loser, you should know better, crybaby, shape up, get your act together, what’s wrong with you?” Wouldn’t you just want to punch them in face!?

Try this one: For 5 minutes, speak out loud everything that you say in your head about yourself. Ideally, you record it and listen to your recording afterwards.

Discover who you really are:

Through self-investigation, you will come to see who you really are underneath all your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and concepts. You will recognize what love really is and what is deeper than your self-image and your thoughts. ShoomKloom provides a self-investigation process of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs – guiding to empowerment, self-knowing, and to a relaxed, happy, fulfilled life.

About the author:

Nele vancauteren

I joined the self-investigation process of Shoomkloom in 2016. I gained the tools to stop stressing, be at ease with what is (in comfortable and uncomfortable situations), to know myself for real, and to be here now. It is a joy to share this wisdom with the world. You can find more information at








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How to cut your lodging cost by 50% or more while staying in the coolest places in the world

Quit saying I’ve always wanted to do that and travel today within your budget!

100% FREE!!!
Get It Now!